Told by: Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda
"I was telling this story in the khuṭbah a few years ago. A brother comes up to me afterward. People generally have some feedback for you after a khuṭbah. This brother says, “Brother, you know what you talked about today? It personally really moved me.” Sometimes somebody comes up to you and says something and they just have that look in their eyes like they have a story to tell. This brother had that look, so I asked him, “Brother, if you don't mind, can you share with me how the khuṭbah personally relates to you and how it personally hit home for you?” He sits down with me and tells me, “I know was born and raised Muslim, grew up in a good Muslim family – ṣalāh, masjid, Qur'ān, dhikr. It was a part of our lives as a family, but today was the first time I have prayed in almost a year.”
SubḥānAllāh, what happened? He tells me, “About a year ago I was at the point in my life where all of the pieces of the puzzle were coming together. You know what I'm talking about? You've been working for some time towards certain goals and you're at the point in time when it seems like the master plan is coming together. I was about 30 and nearing the end of my medical residency and had a young wife and two little kids. We lived the life of a student and resident in a small little apartment. We had one beat-up, old, used car. Life was tough, but we made it through school and residency. I was nearing the end of my residency and fielding very lucrative offers from doctors, groups, clinics, and hospitals. Things were looking up. We had gone to look at some nice new houses where my kids could run around and have a backyard to play in. We went minivan shopping at the dealership and were looking at nice schools where we could send our kids. The whole nine yards. Everything was looking up.
“One day I came home a little bit earlier than I normally would from the hospital. I walked in and said salām, and nobody responded. I realized that it was the time when my wife would usually put the babies down for a nap, and she would take a nap herself, so I decided I won't wake them up. I went and ate some food and started reading and passed time. An hour or so went by and I heard the kids from the bedroom. They had woken up. I could hear them being fussy in the room and got excited. I went to the room and opened the door, and the babies were sitting there awake on the bed and crying because they just woke up, but my wife is lying there motionless and not responding. I went in to take a look at her. When I checked, I realized that she was dead. She passed away.
At that moment, my world just fell apart. My life unraveled. The first couple of days were a blur during the janāzah and funeral proceedings. Once the funeral was done and reality set in that my wife was gone, the mother of my children was gone, for two weeks I did not come out of my bedroom. I locked myself in my room with the lights off and just laid there. I barely ate; I barely slept. During those two weeks, I didn't even hold my own children in my own hands. I didn't know what to do with myself. My life didn't make sense. What had happened? What am I supposed to do?
My brother who has been supportive had been there and taken care of my kids when I was incapable of taking care of them. My brother kept encouraging and motivating and telling me, 'You need to pray. If you pray, things will start to make sense again. You need to talk to Allāh and reconnect with Allāh.' I kept resisting and resisting.
One day I woke up in the morning and my brother came to me and said, 'I'm not taking no for an answer. You are coming with me to the masjid.
From the minbar, when you talked about the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) losing his wife and his children losing their mother, I found the answer to my problem. I realized that my Messenger Muḥammad ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) has gone through what I'm going through. He understands my pain. He felt my pain. I felt connected to him and realized that if he could go on, so can I.”
Sometimes when you try to understand the story and can't really grasp it and really truly can't appreciate what the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) went through unless you went through that yourself – may Allāh subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) protect all of us. Sometimes Allāh subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) brings someone to you so that you can get a better understanding. You can look into the eyes of another human being and at least get some idea of what that pain was"
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There's many lessons we can all learn from this:
i) For all the spouses, if your partner passed away tomorrow would you be happy with the way you treated them? Would you regret not telling them how much they meant to you? Would you then worry about any petty issue with lead to fights?
ii) For those who cannot relate to this, can you imagine the prophet's (pbuh) reaction when he lost his wife as well as his uncle? Instead of receiving help and care, the Quraish took advantage of that moment
iii) You are NEVER alone. The prophets, sahabas and the pious before you went through your exact experience (sometimes worse) and they found their way back. In fact some of the pious today went through what you may be going through and they made it out as well. Just remind yourself this: you're not alone. Learn and read the stories of how the righteous found their way out. This is something we can all relate to
